Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
