It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
