i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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