Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
