thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
