hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
