if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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