i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
