Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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