Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i dont even know how to be here
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
