he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
