playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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