you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
