the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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