you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
