We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
did i walk over a car last night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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