does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
