the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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