he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
