i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am available for nakedness
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
