Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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