Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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