Your tits are I can't wait for
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
