dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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