no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
