what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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