I wannas sexs uuuuu
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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