the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
