I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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