Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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