no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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