just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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