I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
