Can i not drive my cunt home
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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