i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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