i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
