just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
