I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
