the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize