just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize