Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
