So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize