i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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