the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
