Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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