My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
