It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
