Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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