i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
