too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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