I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize