The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
