I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How does it feel to date your dad?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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