So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
