You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
