is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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