it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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