i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
either way he was missing a nipple.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
