Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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