remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
