Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
