u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
