I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
do nipples grow back?
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