No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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