I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
