We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
