I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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