Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
