Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
