His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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