she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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